Confident trust….

Hebrews 11: 1-2 NLT

…faith is a settled confidence that something in the future—something that is not yet seen but has been promised by God—will actually come to pass because God will bring it about. Thus biblical faith is not blind trust in the face of contrary evidence, not an unknowable “leap in the dark”; rather, biblical faith is a confident trust in the eternal God who is all-powerful, infinitely wise, eternally trustworthy—the God who has revealed himself in his word and in the person of Jesus Christ, whose promises have proven true from generation to generation, and who will “never leave nor forsake” his own…


This song has wrecked me….

I heard this song for the first time on Thanksgiving and as I was listening to the lyrics, tears welt up in my eyes.  I was overwhelmed with a longing to be home with Jesus.  There was a time when I used to think that I wanted to experience so much more on this earth before going to heaven, the past few months have caused me to reflect on this short life and realize that this earth is not my home, heaven is.  There is not a place on earth where I will ever be fully satisfied.  No job, husband, child, house, friendship or anything else will ever fully satisfy the longing of my heart to be at home with Jesus.  This song is the perfect reminder that soon and very soon we will be called home to be united with our Lord.  I am challenged to live this life with an eternal perspective.  I love the line “I will be with the one I love”.  This promise is what I cling to, one day I will be with the one I love, it is He who has loved me before the foundation of the earth and who has set His affection on me.  My prayer is that my heart might long less for earthly passions and desires and more for the day when I will meet my Jesus face to face!  This Christmas season may we be reminded of the great promise of our Savior.  In a world where we are drawn to focus on every earthly possession we desire during this holiday, I hope we can center our hearts and minds to focus on the beautiful truth that Jesus is coming again! He is our desire, He is our goal, He is our great reward!

Leave it to Brooke Fraser to bring me to tears, she is my favorite! :)  Enjoy these lyrics.

Soon-Hillsong

Soon and very soon
my King is coming
robed in righteousness
and crowned with love
When I see Him
I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I’ll be going
to the place He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
my shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
with unveiled face I’ll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
see the procession
The angels and the elders
round the throne
At his feet I lay
my crowns my worship
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I’ll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
my heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the lamb
the Lord of heaven

I will be with one I love
With unveiled face I’ll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon

Waiting Defined….

Steadfastness; that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one’s self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

How long, Lord, must I wait?
Never mind, child. Trust me….

S.D. Gordon-Quiet Talks on Prayer

Texas bound….again?

I am headed to Austin, Texas today!  I really have no logical explanation as to why, other than I am going to explore.  This summer, Jeff Mangum from The Austin Stone shared his heart for the people of Austin and genuine community within the church in the city of Austin.  I have wanted to go since that week of camp.  My little married friends Katie and Kyle are graciously letting me stay with them and Katie is so excited to show me the sites.  I am praying that God might make a way for me to move there!  I have a one-way ticket, and I’m really not sure when I will return, but to be honest, I haven’t felt this much peace about anything in a long time!

I am going to talk with The For The City Network while I am there.  This is an organization which connects all the non-profits of Austin with the mission of renewing the city of Austin and connecting volunteers to serve the city.  I am so excited about this concept and can’t wait to learn more about what they are doing!  My heart is to serve the city I am engaged in and if the Lord leads me to do that in Austin, TX, well then my bags are packed! :)  I can’t say I ever saw Texas in my future, but here I find myself visiting again!

Just walking into the airport, I felt a gigantic weight lifted off my shoulders!  I am at the pinnacle of this great transition, I’m ready to dive in.  Praying for the Spirit to lead me as I engage in opportunity and follow His leading.  For now….see ya West Palm! :)

The process.

Today a friend of mine called me to check in.  He asked me how I was doing….naturally, I was honest with him.  He asked me why he had not seen me at church at all since I had moved back to West Palm, I told him because I was avoiding large gatherings with lots of people I knew for fear of being bombarded with the “what are your plans?” questions. Some days that question kind of makes my stomach churn, so I just really try to avoid it all together.  He instructed me to read this excerpt from Oswald Chambers ‘My Utmost For His Highest” I love this book, so much truth for where I am at, where we are all at really. I am so grateful for this truth.  I must say, when it comes down to it, I am awful at living for the present.  We are all a work in progress, the progress is also the process of our lives.  May we realize that the process of becoming more like Christ (our sanctification, if we must get technical) is the goal of our lives today, and every day.  I need to realize that it’s ok to politely respond to the “what are your plans” questions with a polite “waiting for that to be revealed, but for now I am here” answer.  After all, whenever He tells me to get into the boat, or take a step into the Jordan, I am so ready!   

Enjoy some wisdom from good ol’ Ozzy below! :)

God’s Purpose or Mine?

July 28
He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . —Mark 6:45

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

Written by Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest.

Stepping out…

Throughout this journey, the Lord has brought me back to Hebrews 11 over and over again.  Faith has led me to obedience to God’s promise and calling on my life.  I hope this passage brings as much comfort to your present circumstance as it does to mine.  We don’t always understand the  current situation we are in, but I believe God gets greater glory out of the outcome of our lives that way.  If we always play it safe and go with the guarantee, we don’t leave room for Gods purposes to be accomplished in our lives, we are only accomplishing our own agendas.  He has called us to dream big, let our God-given creativity challenge us to make changes, step out, take risksabide  and ultimately surrender daily.  I am truly looking forwardto looking back in the near future, looking up and pointing to God.  He has been faithful, and will continue to be, I know it! The initial step of faith can be tough, but the following steps are where the adventure begins and He is most glorified….

Excerpt from ESV study bible commentary below….

By defining faith as “assurance” and “conviction,” the author indicates that biblical faith is not a vague hope grounded in imaginary, wishful thinking. Instead, faith is a settled confidence that something in the future—something that is not yet seen but has been promised by God—will actually come to pass because God will bring it about. Thus biblical faith is not blind trust in the face of contrary evidence, not an unknowable “leap in the dark”; rather, biblical faith is a confident trust in the eternal God who is all-powerful, infinitely wise, eternally trustworthy—the God who has revealed himself in his word and in the person of Jesus Christ, whose promises have proven true from generation to generation, and who will “never leave nor forsake” his own. Such faith in the unseen realities of God is emphasized throughout and has provided confidence and assurance to all who receive Christ as their Lord and Savior.

By Faith

11 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

4 By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. 5 By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. 7 By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. 9 By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. 11 By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. 12 Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore.

13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.14 For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. 15 If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return.16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for ihe has prepared for them a city.

17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son,18 of whom it was said, “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” 19 lHe considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back. 20 By faith Isaac invoked future blessings on Jacob and Esau. 21 By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head of his staff. 22 By faith Joseph, at the end of his life, made mention of the exodus of the Israelites and gave directions concerning his bones.

23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw that the child was beautiful, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict. 24 By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 25 choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. 27 By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and sprinkled the blood, so that the Destroyer of the firstborn might not touch them.

29 By faith the people crossed the Red Sea as on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same, were drowned. 30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days. 31 By faith Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.

32 And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—33 who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. 35 Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. 36 Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—38 of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

39 And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised,40 since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.


Jesus teach me to trust.

I won’t lie, or try to put on a front, right might be one of the most trying, overwhelming times I have ever experienced.  I quit my job, moved HOME, leaving behind friends, structure, independence, and really a great bit of confidence.  For a person who loves all of those things, this is challenging to say the least.  I knew a few things when I chose to leave my job, #1. I had to move on from Student Life and Birmingham. #2. I had no plan for the next step and #3. I did NOT want to come to Florida.  Now, here I find myself in Florida for a variety of reasons and it is coming with the exact challenges I knew it would, and then some.  Pressure to stay, lack of community, and loss of motivation to make the change the Lord had so clearly called me to.   When I got home I was all of a sudden faced with the pressure to figure it all out.  I was trying to figure out what I needed to go back to school for, what city and church the Lord was calling me to invest my life serving in, and I wanted to make something happen immediately!  The economy is brought up in my house 10 times a day, and the idea that I will never find a job in another city is presented to me enough to make me crazy.  Being a single girl, my flesh can so often feel lost doing this thing on my own, but when I go back to the promises of my faithful Father, I realize that I am not alone….He is holding my life in the palm of His hand and calling me to a higher level of intimacy with Him.  He’s got this! Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans His way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

It feels like nothing is coming together right now, plans to go to California have fallen through, and now I am back to the drawing board.  I am praying and begging that God might give me clear direction.  The job, roommate, geographical region, I want to trust His ability to provide all of that.  I trust that He will be faithful to fulfill His promises in my life, but this time of standing in between it all is tough.  I am constantly reminding myself of the call on my life to daily live for Christ and die to self.

I am ready for whatever God calls me to next, but I am anxious.  I am convicted that this anxiousness is not from the Lord, He has called His children to walk in His perfect peace.  Isaiah 26:3 is a verse I cling so strongly to….You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you!  God calls us to lean into His truth and rest in the assurance that He will take care of His children, we just need to TRUST in Him.  At the root of all of this, I don’t trust God as much as I say I do.  That is reflected in my anxious thoughts, my desire to take matters into my own hands and my inability to be still in this time of uncertainty.  Some days it is difficult to stand in the tension and gain perspective in the midst of extreme pressure, and anxiousness.  As for today, I will choose life in Him, because at the end of the day, I can have nothing but still have everything in light of that truth.  Thank you Jesus for holding me up, and going before me….


One day turned into today….

Every time I drive home to Wellington I am overwhelmed with nostalgic feelings of memories from my childhood.  Every house has a story to tell and every street has a memory of it’s own.  As I drive into Wellington the first place I pass is my elementary school followed by the path home which once was the same path I took when I rode my bike to school with my best girl friends.  I drive into my neighborhood to see Anthony’s house to my right, my childhood crush.  Anthony lived next door to Krista, one of my very best friends growing up.  Krista’s family was like my second family, and Krista and I followed the same journey throughout middle school, high school, then even went on to the same college.  I can follow the same street around the corner to pass Katie’s house, another one of my best friends.  Katie and I met in third grade when I joined the baton twirling team, and she was always one of the funniest people I have ever known.  When we entered middle school Katie and Krista introduced me to Amy and we all began to ride our bikes together to middle school.  Katie and I made the decision to quit baton in middle school, we were way too cool to be running around in those little leotards anymore!  These girls were my best friends for most of my childhood.  They had known each other since kindergarten and they were so kind as to let me join the group and later even be a part of their girl scout troop. :)  That only lasted a year for me….but it was fun while it lasted.  We experienced a lot together….our boy-band obsession phase, countless sleep-over parties, Halloween trick-or-treating, we choreographed some killer dances to *NSYNC and Spice Girls, boyfriends, crushes, heartbreak, bat-mitzvahs, first cars, after-school hang outs and so much more.  Through high school we lost touch a little bit, but have always stayed in contact for the most part.

A few months ago, Krista got married to her wonderful husband Mac and yesterday Krista had a beautiful baby girl, Avery!  I am so excited to be here for this milestone!  Krista is the first one of my close childhood friends to have a baby, and it could not be more surreal!  It still feels like we are babies, and way too young to have babies of our own.  The scary thing is, we aren’t too young and soon enough all my friends will have babies and it will be perfectly normal!  Tonight was so special because Katie, Amy and I were all at the hospital visiting Krista.  I had not seen Amy and Katie in a long time, but when we were all sitting together in that hospital room I couldn’t help but reminesce about our childhood.  We used to talk about the man we would marry and how many kids we wanted to have.  Now not all of us have met that man or determined that number, but for Krista, that one-day we used to talk about has now turned into her today.  Katie, Krista, Amy and I are all grown up and I could not be happier to still be in each others lives!  I am a sucker for sentimental moments. :) I just love friendship, it is truly one of the most beautiful relationships we have on this earth!  I treasure my friends because they mean the world to me!

I could not be happier for Krista as she embarks on her new journey as a mommy!  I’m so thankful to be have been home to welcome this sweet little girl into the world with my dear friends.  Krista is pioneering this whole ‘mom’ thing for us, so far so good.  She had one of the easiest pregnancies and births of anyone I have known.  She hasn’t scared us out of having our own one day just yet.  Tonight, Katie held a baby for the first time, I think it went well for her. :)  Congratulations Krista, we love you, you are going to be so great!

Krista, Amy, me and Katie!

The only way out is through….

‘Wait it out’ by Imogen Heap has been my jam this week.  I love this line….
 

Everybody says time heals everything
but what of the wretched hollow?
The endless in between
are we just going to wait it out?

Sometimes the ‘in between’ can feel endless….the unsettling feeling of knowing there is something ahead, something great at that, but waiting in between moments for the Lord to reveal that very thing.  Trusting and believing that in this time of ‘in between’, there is purpose!  Was it my first choice to move back to my hometown for this transitional time? No…not even close.  I prayed that the Lord would provide a job for me somewhere else, anywhere else, so that I would not have to go through this time of standing in the tension. However, God has brought me back here for this moment to pursue Him first, then His plan and purpose for my life.

Right now there is the tension of my dreams and His plan.  I can either sit and wait it out, or I can ask God for big things and anticipate His faithfulness to provide a way.  My God is incapable of being anything outside of His character.  Faithful is not just something He is part of the time, He is faithful ALL the time.  Faithful is who He is and He is incapable of being anything other than faithful to me.  When I think He is not seeing my situation, He reminds me that He sees it all and He has always moved in my life in ways that I could have never imagined.  He has given me this time to be creative and go for it!  He brings opportunity my way to be seized and sought after.

Every day, I think about what it is that I want to be doing.  I go back to the same things….city-life, creativity, amongst the lost, serving the poor, genuine community. Too much to ask?  :)  I’m not sure if what’s ‘next’ will encompass all of those things, but I will pray towards that!  As for my job….well there are many things I would like to do. In my heart of hearts, I want to plan events for a non-profit which contributes to the needs of the poor (homeless, orphans, widows).  Now, my alter-ego “Liv Livman” as a boy on my team this summer named her, she wants to go back to school and become an interior designer or pursue a job with Anthropologie corporate! :)  I will keep on applying all over this wonderful country (with a concentration in L.A.) , and anticipate Gods faithfulness to provide for me.

This Friday, my dad will have another para-thyroid surgery, and I will put all of my life anxiety aside and designate it all to him. :)  We are praying that this surgery will give him his strength and energy back.  If it doesn’t, well I am not sure what’s next….we will cross that bridge when it comes.  If I need to stay home for a bit, I am trusting that God will make that abundantly clear.

Right now, the clear path is out, but as a wise friend once told me, “the only way out is through”.  I will push through this ‘in-between’ because it’s the only option!  Praise God for such a time as this to be young and willing to go and do whatever He calls me to!  I love the story of our lives, and the fact that we aren’t capable of reading ahead!  We have to take it one page at a time causing us to trust the author of our lives that much more.  He knew us before the foundation of the world and has numbered the hairs on our head, He is more than capable of carrying us through the valley.

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